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Happy Hollandaise! (Trying not to be offensive here). My wife just told me to go take a nap and sleep off my drunk before the guests get here and I embarrass everyone (I've had two beers), so I am a stone granite wall to hurt at this moment. I am just so fucking cheerful this time of year, the ebullience streams from my aura. I woke the kids up this morning and we drove out to my matsutake testing grounds, and they cranked until we hit the road about how horrible it was, being rent from warm blankets a hand's-breadth away from a video game controller, and then like magic they were hopeless chatterbugs.

a. find a store of gold coins guarded by hornets, or
b. find a store of gold coins guarded by rattlesnakes

a. be forced to jump from a moving train, or
b. be forced to jump from a cliff



It's not like the xmas gifts have even been exchanged yet.

Introduction notwithstanding, I had the best week.

Somehow I convinced K and Vahid to have a few booze with me in Portland, and even though Sarah must think we are hopelessly sentimental for old blogging days like 80s reunion bands, man, I just needed that time. I am supposed to live in Portland, though I don't think I ever will, so being there is like coming across unsent wedding invitations. We played pinball and texted Jenny and drank PBR and planned the next Tequilacon, but it wasn't entirely like old times, because I didn't smoke old cigarette butts or take photos of dead street rats or get lost looking for my car (FULL DISLOSURE: I DID GOT LOST LOOKING FOR MY CAR).


I spent all day putting up the largest bookshelf I have ever seen. And all day trying to fix my mother in law's computer. And all day installing a new video card for my son's computer. And all day removing the PSU and chasing dogs and serving wine to the sweetest Christmas guests I can remember, one of whom has a 2 month old baby that we held and remembered what it is like, and all day dehydrating and sauteeing and freezing the earth's bounty.

My daughter told me that Alex has a crush on Adam Levine and I told her that he would be a pretty cool guy to live with and right in front of everyone she got this horrified look on her face as though this might be an actual possibility and loudly exclaimed NO WAY YOU ARE THE BEST DAD IT WOULD BE AWFUL.

And then it was Christmas, and everyone gave me too much, more than I deserve, and I had to leave the room at one point because it was all too much.

I dreamed some crazy dream and was singing the lyrics to Baker Street, which made everything all the more confusing, oh, you are never gonna stop moving and you just can't forget about everything.

Tomorrow is a new morning.


Dave2 said…
If only every day was Christmas!
Claire said…
I miss the blogging days of yore and I haven't even met any of you. Perhaps that makes me miss them more.

Were you really planning the next Tequilacon?

Merry Christmas! (or Happy Boxing Day today I s'pose.)
Iron Fist said…
I got a parasailing starter kit under the tree this year so we should probably stat talking business.
Brandon said…
dave if every day was christmas no one could put their lights up early.

claire, we talked about tcon but without dave and jenny we didn't have a quorum.

vahid, i can't see how this could possibly go wrong.
jenny said…
Let me know where to meet you for TCon 2013. I'll bring Apples to Apples.

And I'm glad you didn't text me photos of pinball. It was already too much for my heart to bear. Did they have The Simpsons? No wait... I don't want to know.

Brandon said…
Jenny, in terms of Tequilacon, I'm pretty sure we all agreed to close it out in Chicago, but a couple of alternates popped up:

1. Any city that has an outstanding warrant for Dustin's arrest.
2. Las Vegas.

That's as far as we got before we got back to pinball on The Simp-- er the simple game.
leahpeah said…
Vegas is only 5 hours away from me. *ahem*
Brandon said…
omg what if we ended tequilacon with a Vegas wedding? that would be the most 90s sitcom thing ever.
Janet said…
@Claire... same, I keep hoping that I'll find something similar, but I've yet to fall into something that had me truly feeling 2008 again.
Brandon said…
that four year span of blogging magic seemed a lot like a high school memory. the only thing left now is the occasional reunion.
matt said…
Happy Hollandaise to you too, Brandon. Egg hopes this newest year hasn't benedict. (Too far? Yeah, I was reaching a bit.)

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