so much money

I have this photo of Jenny, Jill and Kristi from over 6 years ago, and it's hard to think about, not because it means we are all mortal and going to die, but because we are all so far apart and not going to live. Sarah and Vahid (from the now defunct/never existed blog: She Said, He Yelled) dropped agendas like Vanilla Ice dropped white, male progress, and at least for a night, the promise of that old photo rang true-ish. We are all older and wiser and longer to recover. There are too many inside jokes to even remember, and in any case, this is not that kind of blog anymore. I hope it's not too long til the next time.

We joked about bringing the blog back, and oddly, some Facebook friends touched on this, too, and while I wasn't able to articulate why this is not going to happen, I felt it, internally. I am happy for the time that was, happier still that I have somehow come to at least live with my regret and remorse rather than give in to its constant, word-ly demands, and happy for the friends I have made. But I am perfectly content to watch Facebook fill that social gap once occupied by blog comments, though I am nothing if not the jealous type, and there is no way I can share attention with 200+ 'friends.'

And there is the inexorable march towards adulthood. I am in a doctoral program, I have just switched jobs - am now a dean at a college close to home, I have a high school kid who needs me to be a little less self-centered, and the list goes on. It's a nice list, though, my timeline is populated with the best people (seriously, Jenny, I hate when you come to town because I think we can never laugh as much as the last time, but there was a point when I was crying - Vahid remembering me waking up in Chicago to pull the blanket on the floor just about put me over the top. Kristi's face while we tried to create our own 'leaking' signs is just too unbearable to think about, etc.)

Tread lightly, ye who yearn to laugh.