rare and deadly foot stool

i typed out the message, 'have you ever been angry with me? truly, honestly irritated beyond sarcastic eye-rolling?'

i no longer send these messages, though, the way i once did. after a time, you start to get the sense that what seems like the most urgent and unanswerable conundrum really isn't that critical in the morning.

why do we always feel sicker at night? does the darkness magnify our baser instincts? there must be a scientific explanation, some manner of physiological change meant to keep our gene pool strong.

once, my company sent me to some manner of professional development training, and the guy asked us to pretend we were the captain of the titanic, and asked us to brainstorm how we might have done things better. it was a wonderful exercise given that we were in a heated room, on dry earth, with ample wifi, pipecleaners, doodlepads, fun size candy, and the overbearing aroma of chamomile. and it was miserable thinking that obviously enough time had passed so that the devastating human tragedy could now be reduced to a corporate lesson in teambuilding on an hourly rate.

'put all the people on the iceberg,' i said.

'that is so creative!' the consultant replied.

i died and swam the icy depths and looked for prettily colored rocks in the sand.

so, have i ever made you angry? are you still? i waver between this boyish desire to ignite frustration and get called out for bad behavior and the shame and embarrassment of perpetuating bad habits.

fortunately, morning is never any further than a day away.


Summer said…
The foot stools will be the end of us. Or --at-- the end of us, anyway. Well, at the end of those who keep those sorts of things around for use, and in the way of those who visit the foot-stool keepers. I never would. Clutter kills.

Wait, what were you asking?

Dave2 said…
I'm betting they totally had fun-size candies on the Titanic. How would they celebrate Halloween?
eclectic said…
Making people angry is easy. It's getting them to forgive that's the tricky part, contrary to the commonly held notion that it's easier to get forgiveness than permission. Fun-size candies are helpful, but coffee and/or alcohol work even better.
Brandon said…
summer i was asking if you've ever been angry with me.

dave, if they were american they would celebrate halloween 2 months early.

shari, you never hear about fun size alcohol.

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