I felt my age this morning. I looked my age this morning. In my defense, anyone who downed as much scotch the night before would nary of looked the better. So I ran to clear my head in the cold, winter air. For company, I took a catalog of memories. Folks are always imagining what one book they'd have with them were they to wash ashore a desert isle. I would have my diary, or if it didn't offend the rules, a photo album.
Unless of course I were in the middle of a good read, and then I would just take that, lest I make my own unsatisfying ending. Oh, agony of an unfinished book. May it never befall thee.
On the last day of my thirties, I woke at 5 and worked until 8 in the evening. I do not love my job more than my family, but I do love my job. It took me to see Jenny, after all, where we continued our Tequilacon revival/conclusion plans in a casino of all places. She had me grease the already greasy wheels of the piano man, who rewarded us with an instrumental of Journey's “Don't Stop Believin.” I WON'T.
Oh, this year. I feel like it's trying to tell me, “I know I've been awfully hard on love of late, but in 2013 I resolve to be less of a miser. After all, resolve rearranges to RELOVES, or E-LOVERS. That makes no sense. This is why no one talks to calendars. Where are you going? I WILL NOT BE IGNORED.”
Four people who have showed me naught but kindness since our paths crossed electronically have made life affirming commitments and I am beyond happy. So much everloving good. Keep it up, universe.
So, I got home, just a few hours short of 40, and the liquor case was filled, there were board games on the table, a bouquet of flowers, a supper. We competed amiably. We retired to the couches and watched a John Hughes flick. I eased into the next chapter and set the book down by my nightstand.
I played poker with friends the next day, and on Sunday had family over. I was gifted a new camera, more whiskey and a bottle of Lagavulin, enough of which will be flasked so as not to make Shari wroth.
And at the end, I toasted Alex. She made all of this happen. Has been doing that for god knows why and how long. She smiled her radiant heaven kissed smile, blessed the laity and shook the stardust from my pillow. I felt my age this morning. I looked it. It has been a long time coming.